Survival Log – Day 7 without Sean

I have taken to sleeping horizontally across the king bed.

It’s just massive without Sean in it.

slepp

I have lost what little sense of time I had. I woke up at 1am because I went to bed at 4pm the day before.

Gonna try to get myself sorted and get back to what I was doing. I can’t afford to have a proper two-day hangover.

I get up and start cleaning, realising everything hurts I resort to just sorting myself out. Time for another LUSH bath.

Home spa myself up! Facemask etc.

My intentions are to

  • Curl my hair
  • Paint my fingernails
  • Get dressed
  • Pick everything off the floor
  • Sweep glass
  • Clean sides & kitchen
  • Hoover
  • Pack up some work
  • Go to Higher Ground cafe for a couple of hours to do some work
    (spoiler alert I didn’t do any of these)

And then meet some friends at SAIT Starbucks.

I could walk there and then to Eau Claire to cancel my gym membership (because I found a better one with a pool!)

However, as soon as I get out the bath I fall straight back to sleep!!

One of my friends’ texts wakes me up and I have 15 minutes before getting picked up!!

What I thought was gonna be a catch up over coffee turns out to be a therapy session and I’m reminded that I do have a major depressive disorder. I’ve always had it and Sean is just really good and helping me keep it to a minimum. Even to the point that I forget I can fall into it really easily. It’s not something I’m proud of but left to my own devices, I haven’t developed the resilience yet to carry on with normal everyday tasks.

All the warning signs are there.

Also, I have this thing when faced with a big worksheet I can’t do it unless I talk it out with someone, because it’s just talking. It’s not sat there staring at a screen. So we sit there and do that and before I know it, a task that was taking me hours takes 10 minutes!

I have my packages and pricing all written up and ready to go!

Now I just have to make my digital design portfolio pdf.

Its Friday now. Only 5 more days till he’s home.

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