I have taken to sleeping horizontally across the king bed.
It’s just massive without Sean in it.
I have lost what little sense of time I had. I woke up at 1am because I went to bed at 4pm the day before.
Gonna try to get myself sorted and get back to what I was doing. I can’t afford to have a proper two-day hangover.
I get up and start cleaning, realising everything hurts I resort to just sorting myself out. Time for another LUSH bath.
Home spa myself up! Facemask etc.
My intentions are to
- Curl my hair
- Paint my fingernails
- Get dressed
- Pick everything off the floor
- Sweep glass
- Clean sides & kitchen
- Pack up some work
- Go to Higher Ground cafe for a couple of hours to do some work
(spoiler alert I didn’t do any of these)
And then meet some friends at SAIT Starbucks.
I could walk there and then to Eau Claire to cancel my gym membership (because I found a better one with a pool!)
However, as soon as I get out the bath I fall straight back to sleep!!
One of my friends’ texts wakes me up and I have 15 minutes before getting picked up!!
What I thought was gonna be a catch up over coffee turns out to be a therapy session and I’m reminded that I do have a major depressive disorder. I’ve always had it and Sean is just really good and helping me keep it to a minimum. Even to the point that I forget I can fall into it really easily. It’s not something I’m proud of but left to my own devices, I haven’t developed the resilience yet to carry on with normal everyday tasks.
All the warning signs are there.
Also, I have this thing when faced with a big worksheet I can’t do it unless I talk it out with someone, because it’s just talking. It’s not sat there staring at a screen. So we sit there and do that and before I know it, a task that was taking me hours takes 10 minutes!
I have my packages and pricing all written up and ready to go!
Now I just have to make my digital design portfolio pdf.
Its Friday now. Only 5 more days till he’s home.